The Memory of a Food Eulogy

A good friend’s mom just passed away yesterday. And death is always never easy with family as you are often caught off guard, during moments you do not expect it to happen. This ironically joyful and tragic incident (Joyful because we, Catholics, believe that she / he would rejoin The Creator, but at the same time, tragic because she / he would be leaving behind family and friends.) made me remember one of the most memorable food influences in my life: my grandmother or lola as we grandchildren called her.

She passed away after almost month long battle in the hospital from the aftermath of a hemorrhagic stroke last December 12, 2010. It wasn’t easy for everyone; the entire clan was devastated at the loss: emotionally and financially as sickness and death doesn’t come cheap nowadays. But like any food loving family, we were able to recover from the loss and see the joy of Lola in Heaven with each other’s company and with food, the food, which she so lovingly prepared, ate with gusto and passed on to the younger generations.

My Lola in Esmeralda (of Disney's Hunchback of Notredame) mode.

My grandmother was a Home Economics graduate, whose ingenuity helped her family survive on a shoestring budget, shopping for cheap odds and ends and making it palatable and delicious for the family. My father, aunts and uncles always fondly told us of her culinary inventions: the homemade pizzas, when there were no pizza chains around yet, ox brain and fish eggs fritters, moist chocolate mayonnaise cupcakes, among others; and her taking on heirloom recipes such as the once-a-year holiday special, Cocido and kare-kare with adobo. She also was at the helm of the kitchen during our regular Sunday get togethers, preparing an entire meal for her husband (my grandfather), her children and their better halves, and very hungry, growing grandchildren including myself. Even when they decided to move to the United States, she continued cooking for her husband, children and grandchildren who were based there. Cooking was such a joy for her, and, more so, seeing the entire clan enjoying what she prepared. I can almost see her happy eyes twinkle and hear her musical chuckle as I write this post. How I wish I can cook as she did!

Lola and Lolo in Seattle, Washington. See how such a happy person she was...

So during the final night of the wake, it was just so apt that we all remembered her through the food. We jokingly called it the Food Eulogy because those who spoke, almost all her children and some of the grandchildren, shared how she showed us her great love through the food she cooked. She was immortalized through her wonderful cooking. Because cooking is an act of service, an act of love. Don’t you agree?

I just want to take this time to thank my lola for the teaching us that through the humble act of cooking, you can express your love. And to my friend, whose mother passed away, it won’t be easy, but just remember how much happier your mom is with the Lord in Heaven.

Delirious about Delicious,

Didi

P.S. Help me win a Zwilling knife as part of Chef and Steward’s blog anniversary by liking my comment on their Facebook page here

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  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_HDBKDYV5L6MWBPZ3NESTHUBSI4 manny paterno

    How I wish I could recall all the meals she prepared for us…Even before these became popular we were enjoying them already…her mango chutney,mussels, squid , pizza , twice cooked adobo , sukiyaki,Mongolian barbecue,pancit luglug, her fresh and fried lumpia….all the native delicacies of coron…the manla(the mud lobster), all the shellfish, the local pickles and her sweets santol,suha rinds,kamias, the pickled wild mangoes,pickled and dried kandis (batuan for Illongos), chili con carne ,her brazo mercedes…she cooked practically everythng we shot /caught…all kinds of birds,squirrels,monkeys,bats….into something we would enjoy….

    • Anonymous

      I know Mama was able to save some of those recipes and I wish to take them on too. Lalo na mongolian BBQ. Homemade sate sauce and, of course, twice cooked adobo.

      • http://profile.yahoo.com/NHEC7GRYIUMM3GZKAQAR4KUYYA Trixie

        The recipe box is with me.  I am the keeper of food secrets…

        Two things I have noticed which are missing from the box: the galantina recipe, and Daddy’s coffee brew.  A lot of the recipes have been eaten by termites– notably the apple pie ones.  They must be good….

        I found the original mongolian barbeque recipe in Tita Milette’s handwriting–which I reconstructed from scratch because I thought I lost the original….mine is a better version :-)   Tita Josie said mongolian bbq recipe was originally shared by cousins Sandoval…

        • http://dfordelicious.com/ Didi

          Hehehe! I think papa has perfected the Galantina and he SHOULD write the recipe down. We also have a copy of the Satay sauce for Mongolian BBQ :-)

  • http://twitter.com/DevinaDivecha Devina Divecha

    Your grandmom was a beauty!
    I understand only too well dealing with losses like these having lost two within a year of each other…and my maternal grandfather is the reason I write and love food, so his loss was exceedingly hard to bear. My paternal grandmother left us the year afterward and oh Didi, the amount of food she’d cook for us!
    Death in the family is hard…but we remember the happy time and deal with the pain.
    *hugs*

    • Anonymous

      She was very beautiful and ALWAYS smiling!

      We were lucky to have grandparents, who enjoy food and have been kind enough to pass on the food love :-)

  • Ralph Paterno

    Mom’s kare-kare was unique – had all the regular ingredients from the cows face, tail, knuckles, tripe and a special chewy part of the cow.  Her tamales was very unique – I know all my siblings crave for.  In fact Milette is planning to make one soon…yummy.  Home made mayo – miss that one. Home made Pineapple ham during the Christmas Holidays.  Sopa de Marisco, Sinigang, Mustard Roulade, Fruit Salad with cashew nuts, home made longanisa recado with real old school casings, dinuguan (domestic and game), Lengua con champignon, lengua estofado and pastel de lengua, lugaw (congee) with chicken, or tripe, or milky mammary glands of  the cow with dilao serve with a drop of sesame oil and roasted garlic, embutido and a lot more.  

    Whoever has her recipes on 5×7 index cards from the wooden box is a very lucky person … priceless family heirloom.

    • Anonymous

      Hi Tito Ralph! Doesn’t Tita Tricia have some? We have copies of some of the recipes. Mama learned how to make them too :-) Tamales are so good too! I remember Lola made them before she passed away and we all got together to feast on them!

  • Ralph Paterno

    Your Tita Milette studied authentic chinese cooking from a chinese lady who speaks a different chinese dialect from mainland China and had to have an interpreter around to teach. The Mongolian BBQ recipe, Siopao, Chinese meatballs,chinese chicken soup stock (made from chicken tendons or herbs) and  others from the index cards was in your Tita Milette’s handwriting.  

    Mongolian BBQ was prepared by your Tita Milette on days when everybody was at home.  Took half a day just to prepare all the sauces (made from scratch as most were not available ready made like today) and ingredients.  Everybody available helped in the preparations in which way they can (constant munching, jokes and sudden disappearances tsk tsk tsk). Continuing with MEMORABLE and FUN preparations we started the ADVENTURE of cooking – as all the sauces and ingredients as well as ourselves are lined up in the kitchen (thank GOD the kitchen was big enough) everybody cooks their own version – the sauces and  ingredients YOU want in your BBQ over the small 4 burner gas stove with 2 woks.  Your Lola cooks for your Lolo who chooses what he wants on his version. We had this dish IONS before any establishment started to serve them –  up to today, these establishments were never close nor nearly as good as the one we always had. 

    P.S. One chinese new year, we had a very special and expensive MOON CAKE – with the whole nine yards watermelon seeds, yolk, etc bought by your Tita Milette.  Your Tito Iking had to bring out the kitchen’s small blue weigh scale to EQUALLY APPORTION the moon cake.  The so called EXCESS CRUMBS were declared “hating kapatid” with a big grin, from ear to ear, from you Tito Iking.

    • http://dfordelicious.com/ Didi

      I think this is why Papa and all of us love enjoying food made from scratch :-) well, again kalaban lang ang time when living in the busy city of Manila

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  • http://www.mycustardpie.com Sally2hats

    She looked like a lovely lady.

    • http://dfordelicious.com/ Didi

      She was :) She would’ve chuckled at your compliment. Thanks Sally!